Once upon a time there was a curious sheep that came from a troubled past but lived safely with a few other sheep within a small enclosed pasture up in the hills. From time to time, he and the other sheep would notice in the far distance a neighborhood wolf that was known to be very sneaky, so they were always reminded by the shepherd to stay behind the fence and to keep their distance. As the sheep would graze throughout the day, the curious sheep would stare out towards the direction of the wolf and make cheeky comments to the other sheep about how pathetic the wolf’s lonely life must be and that he was much too smart for him to fall for any of his bag of tricks. But then one day, as irony would have it, the wolf disguised himself as a shepherd and headed down to the fence that separated them. After spending the day trying to get the sheep’s attention, he eventually caught the eye of the curious sheep when he offered him a golden opportunity, “Come with me and I’ll show you the largest field of grass that you’ve ever seen and all of it will be yours to graze on.” The curious sheep intrigued at the lavish offer thought about it for a brief moment and against the other sheep’s warnings hopped the fence and made way with the neighborhood wolf, I mean shepherd. Upon arrival and just as promised, he saw the largest field of grass that he had ever seen and it was all for him…but he also noticed something else…a strange bright patch of mushrooms on the northern side. “What are those?” said the sheep to the disguised wolf. “Those are magic mushrooms and when eaten they will make you forget any pain or fear that you may have ever felt.” Intrigued once again and wishing to start a new life and forget his troubled past the curious sheep asked the wolf if he could eat just one. “Of course” said the wolf, “I thought you’d never ask.” The sheep then slowly ate the magic mushroom and shortly thereafter fell into a deep dark trance. Within seconds of realizing the sheep’s sunken and limp state, the wolf pounced on him and began eating at the sheep with great ease and the poor sheep, unaware of any ‘pain or fear’, lost his life to the sneaky neighborhood wolf just like many had before.

A lion came across a fox up in the woods to which the lion said, “It is my right to eat you.” The fox, not thinking twice, quickly replied, “It is my right to deceive you.” The lion laughed at the fox’s cunning remark and gave out a loud roar. The fox, not impressed, sat there motionless and awaited its fate. Sensing the fox was merely handing itself on a platter, the lion quickly charged at the fox to enjoy a nice afternoon snack. The fox sat there and, without a fight, allowed the lion to eat him. A few hours later, the lion died. Such a clever fox even if it was made out of stone.

The door opened and in walked the husband with his worn out shoes. The wife looked at his worn out shoes and said, “Don't you think it's about time you bought a new pair of shoes?” “No.” said the husband, “These were the shoes I wore when I met you, I can't give them up.” The wife rolled her eyes and emphatically shouted, “THAT WAS EIGHT YEARS AGO!” The dejected husband stood there for a brief moment and then slowly walked away. The very next day, he went to buy a new pair of shoes. Many hours later, the door opened and in walked the husband with his shiny new shoes. The wife turned to him, looked at his new shoes and asked, “WELL ITS ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP. WHERE WERE YOU!?” “It doesn't matter, I want a divorce,” said the husband. "WHAT??? WHY???" yelled the wife.  "I fell in love with another woman," said the husband.  "WHO!?!?!" screamed the wife.  "The store clerk."

One fine day, I came across a cockroach in my home. It was unpacking its bags into an area it perceived to be its new bedroom. It eventually took notice of me and said "Hello, what a nice place you have here. I shall be your friend forever." As it smiled upon me, I kicked my leg up and stomped on it for a fresh, even kill. Relieved, I cleaned up its body, picked up its bags and disposed of it properly.  The very next day, I walked in and in that same area I found another cockroach unpacking. Once again, it looked at me and happily said, "Hello, what a nice place you have here. I shall be your friend....STOMP.  I cleaned up the mess, disposed of its body and picked up its bags for what was hopefully the last time.  The following day, as you guessed, I walked in and another cockroach was waiting in the same damn spot, unpacking and when it took notice of me it looked up and said, "Hello, what a nice place you have here. I shall be your friend forever." At that very moment, I packed my own bags and headed out the door. The cockroach, confused, looked at me and asked, "Why are you leaving?  Am I not worthy of your friendship?" to which I replied, "My ex told me she would haunt me if we ever broke up, so the house is yours."

Here we have two birds. On one end, we have an old bird in its nest. On the other, a young bird soaring high up in the sky. The old bird in its nest sleeps restless and uneasy. While the young bird seems to be jubilant and lost in flight. One day, the young bird came across the old bird at its nest and noticed its troubles, so it flew down and asked, “Why the sad face?” The old bird with its eyes closed whimpered, “Just like you, I used to fly day in and day out, but now all I do is ache and wait. What's it to you?” The young bird looked ever so closely and replied, “Well, yes, I fly from tree to tree and from wire to wire, both day and night.  But I’ll tell you this, nothing was quite like the time I had nestled next to you Mom.”